Funny Scientist Name Generator

Science puns from Dr. Ray Dium to Professor Bea Kerr

Academia, Science & Knowledge1,000 names

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Generate funny scientist names built on science puns: Dr. Ray Dium for chemistry, Dr. Cole Ider for physics, Dr. Mitch Ondria for biology and Paleontologist Tricia Tops for the fossil dig. Lab mishap call signs, pompous made-up departments and long-suffering interns round out the cast for skits, science fair posters, classroom games and name tags.

About funny scientist names

A funny scientist name works like a lab coat on a cartoon character: the title promises someone serious, and the surname gives the game away. Most of this list is science words split into a first name and a last name, so Dr. Ray Dium runs the chemistry lab, Dr. Cole Ider smashes particles, Dr. Mitch Ondria studies the powerhouse of the cell and Paleontologist Tricia Tops digs up dinosaurs.

The 1,000 names are spread over chemistry, physics, biology, earth science, weather, astronomy, math and statistics, so you can match a joke to a subject. Around them sits the rest of the building: accident-prone staff with call signs, such as Dr. Gus "No Eyebrows" Malloy and Dr. Oops of the Third Floor, cartoon surnames like Professor Von Beaker and Dr. Hildegard McBeaker, grand titles from departments that do not exist, such as the Distinguished Chair of Unexplained Smells, and the interns and lab techs who do the washing up.

It is the same comic tradition as Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Professor Farnsworth and Dr. Doofenshmirtz, but every name here is invented for your own skit, science fair poster, classroom game, story or party name tag. The jokes are aimed at the subject and the lab, never at a real scientist.

How to choose funny scientist names

  • Say the name out loud before you print it. Professor Bea Kerr and Dr. Eve Aporate only land when heard, and a pun the audience has to read twice is lost on stage.
  • Match the pun to the field. Geologist I. C. Berg belongs on the polar expedition and Statistician Kurt Osis in the data room; swap them and the joke stops working.
  • Cast a whole lab instead of one character: a pun name for the lead, a call sign like Professor Walt "Small Kaboom" Decker for the colleague, and Intern Holden Theflask to carry things.
  • Use short names for name tags and save the long titles, such as Senior Fellow of the Institute for Advanced Napping, for posters, certificates and door signs where there is room to read them.
  • Keep the jokes on invented characters. Do not pin a gag name on a real teacher or researcher unless they are in on it and enjoy it.

Frequently asked questions

What are some funny scientist names?

By field: Dr. Ray Dium and Professor Bea Kerr for chemistry, Dr. Cole Ider and Physicist Julie Joule for physics, Dr. Mitch Ondria and Dr. Anne Tibody for biology, Geologist Ava Lava for earth science and Astronomer Hal E. Comet for space. For the rest of the lab there are Dr. Oops of the Third Floor, Professor Von Beaker and Intern Holden Theflask.

Are these names clean enough for school and kids' events?

They were written with a family audience in mind. The puns are about elements, particles, cells, rocks, stars, numbers and everyday lab mishaps, with nothing rude and no jokes about real scientists or anyone's background. It is still worth reading a name aloud once before it goes on a poster, since a pun can sound different from how it reads.

How do I make my own science pun name?

Take a science word and look for a first name hiding inside it: mitochondria gives Mitch Ondria, evaporate gives Eve Aporate and clarified gives Clara Fied. Short first names that sound like syllables are the handiest starting points, such as Al, Sue, Dee, Polly, Perry and Ann. Add Dr., Professor or a job title that fits the field, then say it aloud to check that the word comes through.

How is this different from the Scientist and Mad Scientist generators?

The Scientist Name Generator gives realistic researchers for serious fiction, and the Mad Scientist Name Generator gives sinister doctors for horror and pulp stories. This page is comic from start to finish: science puns, mishap call signs, cartoon surnames such as Dr. Barnaby Bubblewick and grand titles like Dean of the College of Loud Noises.

More like this

All 1,000 funny scientist names

This is the complete list the generator above draws its random batches from, sorted A to Z and grouped by first letter.

Plain text, one name per line.

A: 46 names

  • Acting Head of the Missing Stapler Inquiry
  • Adjunct Professor of Pretending to Understand
  • Admiral Atom
  • Ambassador from the Lab Down the Hall
  • Anatomist Abby Domen
  • Anatomist Artie Ree
  • Anatomist Cora Tex
  • Anatomist Cray Nium
  • Anatomist Iris N. Pupil
  • Anatomist Patty Ella
  • Anatomist Rhett Ina

A, continued

  • Apprentice Bucket Carrier
  • Apprentice Cart Pusher
  • Apprentice Flask Swirler
  • Apprentice Label Peeler
  • Apprentice Lid Finder
  • Apprentice Tong Holder
  • Assistant Dean of Almost Finished Experiments
  • Associate Professor of Things That Go Fizz
  • Astronomer Ann Dromeda
  • Astronomer Aster Oyd
  • Astronomer Betty Geuse
  • Astronomer Binary Starr

A, continued

  • Astronomer Blake Hole
  • Astronomer Cosmo Dust
  • Astronomer Crescent Moone
  • Astronomer Dee Orbit
  • Astronomer Hal E. Comet
  • Astronomer Launch Pad Pat
  • Astronomer Lou Narr
  • Astronomer Maggie Netosphere
  • Astronomer Orbit Lee
  • Astronomer Perry Gee
  • Astronomer Perry Helion

A, continued

  • Astronomer Perry Lax
  • Astronomer Phoebe Moon
  • Astronomer Polaris North
  • Astronomer Red Giant Gina
  • Astronomer Saturn Ringwald
  • Astronomer Starla Dwarf
  • Astronomer Sunny Spott
  • Astronomer Telly Scope
  • Astronomer Tidy Locked
  • Astronomer Twinkle Starr
  • Astronomer Una Verse
  • Astronomer Vega Bright

B: 37 names

  • Baron Bicarbonate
  • Big Boss of the Beaker Band
  • Biologist Addie Ptation
  • Biologist Ann Tigen
  • Biologist Anne Elid
  • Biologist Chloe Roplast
  • Biologist Chris Tacean
  • Biologist Dee Composer
  • Biologist Den Drite
  • Biologist Di Fusion
  • Biologist Enza Zyme
  • Biologist Fun Gus

B, continued

  • Biologist Glue Kose
  • Biologist Harry Ditty
  • Biologist Mike Ology
  • Biologist Molly Usk
  • Biologist Morgan Elle
  • Biologist My Tosis
  • Biologist Pep Tide
  • Biologist Phil O'Genetic
  • Biologist Phil Um
  • Biologist Plank Tonn
  • Biologist Rye Bosome
  • Biologist Sim Biosis

B, continued

  • Biologist Yeastin Rising
  • Biologist Zy Goat
  • Botanist Bud N. Bloom
  • Botanist Cam Bium
  • Botanist Connie Furr
  • Botanist Den Drology
  • Botanist Mary Stem
  • Botanist Mona Cott
  • Botanist Moss Lee
  • Botanist Pete Pistil
  • Botanist Polly Nation
  • Botanist Rye Zome
  • Botanist Zy Lemm

C: 43 names

  • Captain Baking Soda
  • Chair of the Committee on Sticky Substances
  • Chair of the Department of Mismatched Gloves
  • Chair of the Department of Soggy Socks
  • Chair of the Panel on Suspicious Bubbling
  • Chemist Al Dehyde
  • Chemist Anna Lyte
  • Chemist Anne Ion
  • Chemist Avery Mole
  • Chemist Bea Rette
  • Chemist Beth Ane
  • Chemist Cam Bustion
  • Chemist Chrome E. Um
  • Chemist Dessie Cator

C, continued

  • Chemist Di Oxide
  • Chemist Electra Lysis
  • Chemist Ella Stomer
  • Chemist Esther Ification
  • Chemist Fuller Een
  • Chemist Gal Lium
  • Chemist Hal Ide
  • Chemist Hy Droxide
  • Chemist I. O. Dine
  • Chemist Indy Um
  • Chemist Isa Merr
  • Chemist Kera Tin
  • Chemist Lexi Thin
  • Chemist Ox E. Jenn

C, continued

  • Chemist Poe Tassium
  • Chemist Ray Donn
  • Chemist Red Ox
  • Chemist Sal Inity
  • Chemist Sal Peter
  • Chemist So Dium
  • Chemist Sol Ution
  • Chemist Sully Fur
  • Chemist Verda Gris
  • Chief Examiner of Suspicious Leftovers
  • Chief of the Division of Long Division
  • Chief of the Office of Round Numbers
  • Chief Scientist of the Sock Disappearance Unit
  • Chief Theorist of Why the Sky Is Up There
  • Commander of the Baking Soda Brigade

D: 347 names

  • Dean of the College of Loud Noises
  • Dean of the Faculty of Fizzy Drinks
  • Dean of the School of Hard Rocks
  • Dean of Unfinished Homework Studies
  • Director of the Bureau of Bubbles
  • Director of the Center for Squishy Things
  • Director of the Institute for Staring Out the Window
  • Director of the Lost Pencil Archive
  • Director of the Observatory of Ceiling Stains
  • Distinguished Chair of Unexplained Smells
  • Doc Almost of the Prize Committee
  • Doc Erg O'Nomics
  • Doc Fizz of the Soda Lab
  • Doc Fumble of the Sample Fridge

D, continued

  • Doc Hiss of the Gas Tap
  • Doc Ker-Plop of Tank Four
  • Doc Nudge of the Pendulum Room
  • Doc Sizzle of the Hot Plate
  • Doc Sonny Boom
  • Doc Sparks
  • Doc Splat of the Supply Closet
  • Doc Thud of the Drop Tower
  • Doc Zing of the Carpet Lab
  • Doctor of Advanced Bath Toy Flotation
  • Doctor of Applied Marshmallow Roasting
  • Doctor of Applied Shoelace Knot Theory
  • Doctor of Comparative Dinosaur Roars
  • Doctor of Competitive Cloud Watching

D, continued

  • Doctor of Experimental Pancake Flipping
  • Doctor Vinegar and the Volcano
  • Dr. A. Orta
  • Dr. Abbot, Dean of Paper Airplane Aerodynamics
  • Dr. Abby Sorption
  • Dr. Abe "Sock Fuzz" Kessler
  • Dr. Adam Icnumber
  • Dr. Agatha Atomsmith
  • Dr. Alphonse Atomby
  • Dr. Ambrose Abacusson
  • Dr. Angle Lee
  • Dr. Anita Grant
  • Dr. Ann Hydrous
  • Dr. Ann T. Mony
  • Dr. Ann Thalpy

D, continued

  • Dr. Anne Gstrom
  • Dr. Anne Tibody
  • Dr. Aqua Furr
  • Dr. Araminta Astrolabe
  • Dr. Art "Upside-Down Chart" Lindgren
  • Dr. Arthur Metic-Mean
  • Dr. Astro Fizz
  • Dr. Aurora Boris-Alice
  • Dr. Avila, Chief of Spaghetti Tensile Testing
  • Dr. Babs "Bubble Wrap" Fontaine
  • Dr. Barnaby Bubblewick
  • Dr. Barry Meter
  • Dr. Bea M. Splitter
  • Dr. Beatrix Boilover

D, continued

  • Dr. Beau Rax
  • Dr. Bernadette Burnerby
  • Dr. Bert "Borrowed Your Stapler" Nilsson
  • Dr. Beryl Lium
  • Dr. Bess "Forgot the Control" Yoon
  • Dr. Birch, Professor of Left Sock Studies
  • Dr. Blip of the Radar Room
  • Dr. Bloom, Keeper of the Emergency Snacks
  • Dr. Brakes Thru
  • Dr. Brian Solution
  • Dr. Buff R. Solution
  • Dr. Cal "Calibrate Later" Dunne
  • Dr. Calliope Clampstand
  • Dr. Cara Tene
  • Dr. Carla Bonate

D, continued

  • Dr. Carr Bonn
  • Dr. Castell, Warden of the Wobbly Stool
  • Dr. Cat Ion
  • Dr. Celia Hairs
  • Dr. Cellie Ulose
  • Dr. Chauncey Chalkboard
  • Dr. Chloe Reen
  • Dr. Chrome O'Some
  • Dr. Chuck "Sneezed on It" Vance
  • Dr. Clara Fied
  • Dr. Clarabelle Corkscrew
  • Dr. Clementine Labcoat-Jones
  • Dr. Cliff "Coffee in the Flask" Monroe
  • Dr. Clip Bored

D, continued

  • Dr. Clonk of the Centrifuge Corner
  • Dr. Clyde "Stuck Stopper" Ferrante
  • Dr. Coe Fishent
  • Dr. Cole Ider
  • Dr. Colin Oyd
  • Dr. Conn Cave
  • Dr. Connie Denser
  • Dr. Connie Trolgroup
  • Dr. Constance Value
  • Dr. Cora Dinate
  • Dr. Cordelia Cloudchamber
  • Dr. Cuthbert Cogwhistle
  • Dr. Cy Tric Acid
  • Dr. Cyn Thesis
  • Dr. Dedd Line

D, continued

  • Dr. Dee Mension
  • Dr. Dee Rivative
  • Dr. Dee Terminant
  • Dr. Del Ta
  • Dr. Della Formation
  • Dr. Digby Dustcover
  • Dr. Dolly "Glitter Incident" Mercer
  • Dr. Dorothea Dribbleton
  • Dr. Drip of the Leaky Sink
  • Dr. Dulcie Dewpoint
  • Dr. E. Qualls
  • Dr. Earl "Smoke Alarm" Pettway
  • Dr. Ebenezer Emberglass
  • Dr. Eck O. Location

D, continued

  • Dr. Edna "Slime Trail" Popov
  • Dr. Eek of the Fume Hood
  • Dr. Electra Magnet
  • Dr. Elle Lipse
  • Dr. Em Bryo
  • Dr. Endo Thermic
  • Dr. Ernestine Eyepiece
  • Dr. Esther Ary
  • Dr. Ethan Oll
  • Dr. Etta "Experiment Seven" Blythe
  • Dr. Eugenia Electrode
  • Dr. Eureka-Maybe
  • Dr. Evangeline Evaporington
  • Dr. Eve Aporate
  • Dr. Exo Skelton

D, continued

  • Dr. Faye "Fogged Lenses" Rahman
  • Dr. Felix "Fizz Over" Grant
  • Dr. Fenwick Fuseblower
  • Dr. Ferdinand Flaskington
  • Dr. Fern Entation
  • Dr. Ferro, Director of Blanket Thermodynamics
  • Dr. Finch, Fellow of Advanced Cookie Decay
  • Dr. Fitzgerald Fluxington
  • Dr. Fizz Ician
  • Dr. Flo Emm
  • Dr. Flo Rence Flask
  • Dr. Fran "Static Shock" Delgado
  • Dr. Fran Cium
  • Dr. Fwoosh of the Bunsen Bench

D, continued

  • Dr. Geri Manium
  • Dr. Germ Innate
  • Dr. Gibbous Wayne
  • Dr. Gigi "Jammed Printer" Laurent
  • Dr. Gilbert Gasket
  • Dr. Gio Metry
  • Dr. Goggles
  • Dr. Goop of the Bottom Drawer
  • Dr. Greta "Not Again" Lindqvist
  • Dr. Gurgle of the Drain Team
  • Dr. Gus "No Eyebrows" Malloy
  • Dr. Guy "Goo Shoes" Rasmussen
  • Dr. Guy Zerr
  • Dr. Gwendolyn Gyroscope
  • Dr. Hank "Spill Zone" Whitlow

D, continued

  • Dr. Harmon Nick
  • Dr. Hattie "Hot Plate Left On" Greer
  • Dr. Hazel "Green Fog" Ibarra
  • Dr. Heath Transfer
  • Dr. Hildegard McBeaker
  • Dr. Hmm of the Back Bench
  • Dr. Hobbs, Head of Trampoline Gravity
  • Dr. Holly Gram
  • Dr. Homer O'Stasis
  • Dr. Horatio Fumehood
  • Dr. Howie Know
  • Dr. Hugh Reeka
  • Dr. Hy Draulics
  • Dr. Hy Grometer

D, continued

  • Dr. Hyacinth Helixby
  • Dr. I. Wash Station
  • Dr. Ike "Ink Explosion" Harlan
  • Dr. Ima Guessing
  • Dr. Iona Microscope
  • Dr. Ira Dium
  • Dr. Ira Rational
  • Dr. Ito, Head of Pencil Sharpening Theory
  • Dr. Ivy "Soap Volcano" Chen
  • Dr. Jasper Agate
  • Dr. Jasper Jetpackson
  • Dr. Jeb "Jar Number Nine" Calloway
  • Dr. Joe Coffeebreak
  • Dr. Josephine Jigglebeam

D, continued

  • Dr. June "Unplugged It" Castillo
  • Dr. Kay "Super Sticky" Whitaker
  • Dr. Kit "Knocked the Tripod" Amari
  • Dr. Lark, Director of Pillow Fort Engineering
  • Dr. Later of the Deadline Office
  • Dr. Leda Pipe
  • Dr. Libby Rium
  • Dr. Lightyear Lenny
  • Dr. Lola "Leaky Hose" Mbeki
  • Dr. Lou "Lunch in the Fridge" Santos
  • Dr. Lucinda Laserby
  • Dr. Lux Meter
  • Dr. Lysander Lensgrinder
  • Dr. Mabel "Purple Smoke" Quigg
  • Dr. Madaki, Fellow of Jelly Wobble Dynamics

D, continued

  • Dr. Madge Ulla
  • Dr. Mae "Magnet in the Purse" Trevino
  • Dr. Magnifico
  • Dr. Major Ursa
  • Dr. Manny Ganese
  • Dr. Marble Countertop
  • Dr. Marge N. O'Verror
  • Dr. Marigold McGoggles
  • Dr. Marlow, Chief of Cereal Buoyancy Studies
  • Dr. Maximilian McFlask
  • Dr. Maybe of the Results Desk
  • Dr. Meta Lloyd
  • Dr. Mike Rogram
  • Dr. Mike Ron

D, continued

  • Dr. Millicent Magnetby
  • Dr. Mimi Cree
  • Dr. Minnie "Mega Bubble" Thorpe
  • Dr. Minnie Scule
  • Dr. Minus Wunn
  • Dr. Mira Image
  • Dr. Mitch Ondria
  • Dr. Montgomery Molebottom
  • Dr. Mort R. Pestle
  • Dr. Mortimer Microscopington
  • Dr. Mya Osis
  • Dr. Nan "Noisy Pump" Eriksen
  • Dr. Nan O'Particle
  • Dr. Nebby Ula
  • Dr. Ned "Confetti Cannon" Ashby

D, continued

  • Dr. Nell "Foam Party" Okafor
  • Dr. Nettie Nebulon
  • Dr. New Clear
  • Dr. Nick L. Plate
  • Dr. Nora "Lost the Key" Halloran
  • Dr. Norm L. Force
  • Dr. Numa Rator
  • Dr. O'Ryan Belt
  • Dr. Odette Oddsock
  • Dr. Okoye, Head of Rubber Duck Hydrodynamics
  • Dr. Olive Thedata
  • Dr. Oops of the Third Floor
  • Dr. Opal "Was That Labeled" Finch
  • Dr. Oswald O'Zone

D, continued

  • Dr. Otis "Missing Goggles" Brandt
  • Dr. Pascal Pressure
  • Dr. Paul Inator
  • Dr. Paul Sarr
  • Dr. Pearl "Whoops" Adeyemi
  • Dr. Pell, Director of Yawn Contagion Research
  • Dr. Penelope Planktonby
  • Dr. Percival Flaskwell
  • Dr. Perry Mecium
  • Dr. Perry Oxide
  • Dr. Perry Site
  • Dr. Pet L. Count
  • Dr. Petunia Pipsqueak-Proton
  • Dr. Phineas Fogbottle
  • Dr. Ping of the Sonar Tank

D, continued

  • Dr. Pip "Popped Cork" Hadley
  • Dr. Plink of the Dripping Burette
  • Dr. Plum, Head of Snack Chemistry
  • Dr. Poe Tential
  • Dr. Pop of the Balloon Room
  • Dr. Posy "Pocket Full of Pens" Aldana
  • Dr. Posy Tronn
  • Dr. Priz M. Light
  • Dr. Pro Payne
  • Dr. Pro Teen
  • Dr. Quark E. Sense
  • Dr. Quill, Chair of Theoretical Recess
  • Dr. Quincy Quicksilver
  • Dr. Rae Diation

D, continued

  • Dr. Ray Dium
  • Dr. Recount of the Tally Room
  • Dr. Reginald Rocketsocks
  • Dr. Rex "Rubber Glove Balloon" Tate
  • Dr. Rex Tangle
  • Dr. Rez O'Nance
  • Dr. Rhea Flection
  • Dr. Rhea Lativity
  • Dr. Rhea Search
  • Dr. Rom Buss
  • Dr. Rosa "Spare Lab Coat" Medina
  • Dr. Rover Landing
  • Dr. Rula Straight
  • Dr. Rupert Rustbucket
  • Dr. Russ "Sticky Bench" Pembry

D, continued

  • Dr. Ruth "Mislabeled" Okonkwo
  • Dr. Ruth Enium
  • Dr. Scatter Plotkin
  • Dr. Seek Wents
  • Dr. Seraphina Slidewell
  • Dr. Seymour Decimals
  • Dr. Shush of the Quiet Lab
  • Dr. Sid "Sideways Graph" Molina
  • Dr. Sirius Lee Bright
  • Dr. Sloan Intercept
  • Dr. Smudge of the Whiteboard
  • Dr. Sorrel, Dean of Bubble Wrap Acoustics
  • Dr. Splatt
  • Dr. Splosh of the Wet Lab

D, continued

  • Dr. Spore Addick
  • Dr. Squiggle
  • Dr. Stanley Stopwatch
  • Dr. Star Chart Charlie
  • Dr. Sue "Soggy Notes" Bergstrom
  • Dr. Sue Doscience
  • Dr. Sy Nusoid
  • Dr. Sylvester Sootwhistle
  • Dr. Tamsin, Curator of Mystery Jars
  • Dr. Tansy "Tape on Everything" Okoro
  • Dr. Tess "Two Left Gloves" Varga
  • Dr. Thaddeus Thermoswick
  • Dr. Thor Ium
  • Dr. Tick of the Stopwatch Desk
  • Dr. Tilly "Fire Drill" Nakamura

D, continued

  • Dr. Tobias Tripodson
  • Dr. Trial N. Error
  • Dr. Tut-Tut of the Safety Office
  • Dr. Ty Dal Force
  • Dr. Val Ence
  • Dr. Vanna Dium
  • Dr. Vera "Boiled Dry" Novak
  • Dr. Vern "Vinegar Hands" Doyle
  • Dr. Vin Trickle
  • Dr. Violet Voltsworth
  • Dr. Vol A. Tile
  • Dr. Walt "Wet Paint" Zamora
  • Dr. Watts D. Matter
  • Dr. Wes "Runaway Cart" Odom

D, continued

  • Dr. Whiff of the Odd Smell Wing
  • Dr. Whirligig
  • Dr. Whoopsie of the West Wing
  • Dr. Wilhelmina Whizbang
  • Dr. Winifred Test-Tubbs
  • Dr. Wizzle
  • Dr. Wobble of the Uneven Table
  • Dr. Wren, Chair of Applied Fidgeting
  • Dr. X. Perry Ment
  • Dr. Y. Knott
  • Dr. Yikes of the Basement Lab
  • Dr. Zap of the Loose Wire
  • Dr. Zeke "Zero Results" Hollis
  • Dr. Zo O'Plankton
  • Duchess of Dry Ice

E: 2 names

  • Emeritus Chair of Chalk Dust Meteorology
  • Empress Electron

F: 9 names

  • Fellow of the Academy of Burnt Toast
  • Fellow of the Order of the Singed Lab Coat
  • Fellow of the Society of Spilled Milk
  • Field Assistant Bramble Shins
  • Field Assistant Net Swinger
  • Field Assistant Rocky Trail
  • Field Assistant Tent Pegg
  • First Deputy Sniffer of Strange Flasks
  • Founding Director of the Nap Lab

G: 43 names

  • Geneticist Al Leel
  • Geneticist Chris Purr
  • Geneticist Gene Us
  • Geneticist Gino Type
  • Geneticist Guy Anine
  • Geneticist Helix Doubleday
  • Geologist Ally Uvial
  • Geologist Amber Fossil
  • Geologist Ava Lava
  • Geologist Butte Ridge
  • Geologist Cal Dera
  • Geologist Clay Loam
  • Geologist Crusty Layer
  • Geologist Dolly Mite

G, continued

  • Geologist Faye Ultline
  • Geologist Flint Knapp
  • Geologist Gran Ite
  • Geologist I. C. Berg
  • Geologist Kim Berlite
  • Geologist Maggie Ma
  • Geologist Manny Tell
  • Geologist Mica Schist
  • Geologist Sandy Ment
  • Geologist Sid Ian Glass
  • Geologist Stella Gmite
  • Geologist Sy Smograph
  • Geologist Tara Firma
  • Geologist Terry Minal-Moraine

G, continued

  • Geologist Trav R. Tine
  • Geologist Walter Shed
  • Glasswasher Bub L. Sudds
  • Glasswasher Scrubs McRinse
  • Grad Student Al Nighter-Again
  • Grad Student Chap Terthree
  • Grad Student Deb T. Free-Someday
  • Grad Student Dee Fense-Soon
  • Grad Student Rahm N. Noodles
  • Grad Student Rita Paper
  • Grad Student Thea Sis
  • Grad Student Wanda Graduate
  • Grand Chancellor of Glitter Physics
  • Grand Master of the Slide Rule Society
  • Granny Geode

H: 6 names

  • Head of Quantum Hide and Seek
  • Head of Remedial Rocket Science
  • Head of the Department of Poking Things
  • Head of the Institute of Belly Button Lint
  • Head of the Laboratory of Loud Sneezes
  • Honorary Doctor of Button Pressing

I: 21 names

  • Intern Bo "Rinsed the Evidence" Shaw
  • Intern Carrie Thebox
  • Intern Dee "Double Dose of Dye" Park
  • Intern Fetch Coffeeman
  • Intern Holden Theflask
  • Intern Ima Learning
  • Intern Inky Labelson
  • Intern Jo "Jammed the Centrifuge" Kader
  • Intern Juno "Mopped the Wrong Lab" Petersen
  • Intern Kari D. Samples

I, continued

  • Intern Kip "Wrong Drawer" Sandoval
  • Intern Les Experience
  • Intern Max "Pressed the Red Button" Lowe
  • Intern Ollie "Oops Button" Reyes
  • Intern Paige Three
  • Intern Phil D. Beaker
  • Intern Rhoda Notes
  • Intern Tad Nervous
  • Intern Toby "Dropped the Sample" Marsh
  • Intern Washington Glassware
  • Intern Wendy Lunchbreak

J: 2 names

  • Junior Researcher Dee Tail
  • Junior Vice Rinser of Flasks

K: 2 names

  • Keeper of the Sacred Lab Stool
  • Keeper of the Spare Batteries

L: 28 names

  • Lab Assistant Drip Tray Dale
  • Lab Assistant Fawcett Dripp
  • Lab Assistant Mark D. Jars
  • Lab Assistant Stacy Trays
  • Lab Assistant Tag N. Bagg
  • Lab Director Ben Chtop
  • Lab Tech Benny "Butterfingers" Ruiz
  • Lab Tech Cal Ibration
  • Lab Tech Cord Tangler
  • Lab Tech Dmitri "Dropped the Lid" Sorensen
  • Lab Tech Flo "Floor Is Lava" Jimenez
  • Lab Tech Fuse Boxer
  • Lab Tech Hugh Midifier
  • Lab Tech Lou Scable

L, continued

  • Lab Tech Moe "Tangled Cords" Barlow
  • Lab Tech Mop Upton
  • Lab Tech Rinse N. Repeat
  • Lab Tech Rudy "Rogue Spreadsheet" Voss
  • Lab Tech Sal "Cracked Slide" Moretti
  • Lab Tech Sterry Lize
  • Lab Tech Viv "Stuck Sleeves" Hartley
  • Lab Tech Zane "Zapped Again" Colby
  • Lady Lightning Bug
  • Lady Litmus
  • Laureate of the Golden Goggles
  • Lead Researcher of the Couch Cushion Dig
  • Lord High Keeper of the Good Beaker
  • Lord of the Lab Rats

M: 55 names

  • Madame Microscope
  • Mathematician Addie Tive
  • Mathematician Borrow Fromten
  • Mathematician Coe Sine
  • Mathematician Corrie Lary
  • Mathematician Dee Visor
  • Mathematician Dessie Mal
  • Mathematician Dom Ain
  • Mathematician Finn Itty
  • Mathematician Greta Thann
  • Mathematician Gus Timate
  • Mathematician Inna Jerr
  • Mathematician Integra L. Sign

M, continued

  • Mathematician Izzy Sosceles
  • Mathematician Les Thann
  • Mathematician Lois Common Denominator
  • Mathematician Mo Dulo
  • Mathematician Ordie Nate
  • Mathematician Orrie Gin
  • Mathematician Para Bola
  • Mathematician Penny Tagon
  • Mathematician Perry Entheses
  • Mathematician Posey Tive
  • Mathematician Proof Reed
  • Mathematician Reel Number
  • Mathematician Round Upp
  • Mathematician Sig Ma

M, continued

  • Mathematician Squire Root
  • Mathematician Tess Seract
  • Mathematician Tim S. Table
  • Mathematician Trapper Zoid
  • Mathematician Vera Bull
  • Mathematician Vinnie Diagram
  • Mathematician X. Ponent
  • Mayor of Molecule Town
  • Meteorologist Albie Doe
  • Meteorologist Alta Stratus
  • Meteorologist Anna Mometer
  • Meteorologist Cy Russ
  • Meteorologist Gusty Winds
  • Meteorologist Isa Barr

M, continued

  • Meteorologist Jett Stream
  • Meteorologist Misty Fogg
  • Meteorologist Rainn Gage
  • Meteorologist Scott R. Showers
  • Meteorologist Thunder Clapp
  • Meteorologist Wendy Chill
  • Microbiologist Aggie R. Plate
  • Microbiologist Cole Ony
  • Microbiologist Flo Jellum
  • Microbiologist Jerry Germ
  • Minister of Measuring Things Twice
  • Mister Meteor Shower
  • Mister Mix-It-Up
  • Mister Molecule the Magnificent

N: 5 names

  • Night Tech Flashlight Flo
  • Night Tech Midnight Oyle
  • Night Tech Nora Nightlight
  • Night Tech Owl Shift
  • Night Tech Thermos Theo

O: 6 names

  • Oceanographer Coral Atoll
  • Oceanographer Hal Ocline
  • Oceanographer Lowe Tide
  • Oceanographer Marianna Trench
  • Oceanographer Tide Poole
  • Overseer of the Great Paperclip Chain

P: 228 names

  • Paleontologist Ammon Ite
  • Paleontologist Brock Eosaurus
  • Paleontologist Bronty Thighbone
  • Paleontologist Dustin Bones
  • Paleontologist Iggy Uanodon
  • Paleontologist Paley Ontology
  • Paleontologist Sandy Digsite
  • Paleontologist Steg O'Saurus
  • Paleontologist Tricia Tops
  • Paleontologist Vela Ciraptor
  • Physicist Abby Zero
  • Physicist Ann Tropy
  • Physicist Cindy Lation
  • Physicist Conn Vex

P, continued

  • Physicist Connie Vection
  • Physicist Cool Ohm
  • Physicist Di Fraction
  • Physicist Emmy Sion
  • Physicist Giga Joule
  • Physicist Glue Onn
  • Physicist Gravy Tonn
  • Physicist Half Spinn
  • Physicist Henry Inductance
  • Physicist Isa Tropic
  • Physicist Julie Joule
  • Physicist Kenny Tic
  • Physicist Kurt Rent
  • Physicist Lee Verage

P, continued

  • Physicist Lenz Flare
  • Physicist Les Friction
  • Physicist Lev Itation
  • Physicist Mae Zon
  • Physicist Mick Rowave
  • Physicist Ossie Late
  • Physicist Para Docks
  • Physicist Polly Rized
  • Physicist Sue Personic
  • Physicist Terry Hertz
  • Physicist Trudy Jectory
  • Physicist Turbie Lance
  • Physicist Volta Meter
  • Postdoc Eddie Ting

P, continued

  • Postdoc Grant Pending
  • Postdoc Noah Sleep
  • Postdoc Paige Limit
  • Postdoc Reva Sion
  • Postdoc Sy Tation-Needed
  • Princess Proton
  • Principal Investigator of Who Ate My Lunch
  • Prof. Amos Nia
  • Prof. Bo Ronn
  • Prof. Emma Ulsion
  • Prof. Millie Liter
  • Prof. Platt Inum
  • Prof. Rae Rearth
  • Prof. Yura Nium
  • Professor Abby Scissa

P, continued

  • Professor Abby Solute
  • Professor Ace Tone
  • Professor Ada "Almost Worked" Stokes
  • Professor Ahem of the Lecture Hall
  • Professor Al Gee
  • Professor Al Kane
  • Professor Algernon Ampersmith
  • Professor Ali Quot
  • Professor Amina Acid
  • Professor Ann Omaly
  • Professor Annie Yule
  • Professor Aster Daisy
  • Professor Augustus Spillsbury
  • Professor Balthazar Buttonmasher

P, continued

  • Professor Barnabus Boffinham
  • Professor Barry Onn
  • Professor Bartholomew Blastwick
  • Professor Bat Terry
  • Professor Bay Salt
  • Professor Bea "Backup Plan" Osei
  • Professor Bea Kerr
  • Professor Beau Tane
  • Professor Bias Lee
  • Professor Bo Sonn
  • Professor Burt "Loose Lid" Kowalski
  • Professor Candy Ella
  • Professor Carter Lidge
  • Professor Clatter of the Glass Cupboard

P, continued

  • Professor Cody Onn
  • Professor Connie Fidence
  • Professor Connie Nental
  • Professor Cora Sample
  • Professor Cora Sive
  • Professor Cornelius Quarkenbush
  • Professor Cotty Ledon
  • Professor Countdown Kay
  • Professor Crash of the Glassware Shelf
  • Professor Cray Terr
  • Professor Cy "Chalk Hands" Oyelaran
  • Professor Denn City
  • Professor Ding of the Timer Shelf
  • Professor Dot "Wrong Beaker" Pruitt

P, continued

  • Professor E. Quation
  • Professor Effie Vescent
  • Professor Emeritus of Staring at Slime
  • Professor Emma Ritus
  • Professor Erasmus Eyewash
  • Professor Exo Thermic
  • Professor Fee Murr
  • Professor Fergus Flaskenby
  • Professor Fern "Forgot the Lens Cap" Dubois
  • Professor Flo Reen
  • Professor Fred Ator
  • Professor Georgina Geodewick
  • Professor Gil "Gravity Check" Navarro
  • Professor Glug of the Water Cooler
  • Professor Goldie Leaf

P, continued

  • Professor Grant Denied
  • Professor Hal "Hold My Clipboard" Jensen
  • Professor Heath Index
  • Professor Heidi Rojen
  • Professor Henrietta Fizzlethorpe
  • Professor Hiccup of the Echo Chamber
  • Professor Hollis "Wrong Units" Brennan
  • Professor Humphrey Hydroxby
  • Professor I. C. Results
  • Professor Ida "Inside Voice" Petrov
  • Professor Ignatius Sparkplug
  • Professor Imogen Ary
  • Professor Ina Sulator
  • Professor Io Nosphere

P, continued

  • Professor Izzy Sure
  • Professor Joy "Rogue Magnet" Bianchi
  • Professor Kaboom of Lab Six
  • Professor Kee Note
  • Professor Knock Turnal
  • Professor Kris P. Tonn
  • Professor L. E. Ment
  • Professor Lanny Thanide
  • Professor Lara Nix
  • Professor Lavinia Leverpull
  • Professor Lazer Beam
  • Professor Lee Thium
  • Professor Lenny "Decimal Slip" Horvath
  • Professor Lionel Litmuswick

P, continued

  • Professor Lottie "Extra Zero" Waring
  • Professor Lyle Sosome
  • Professor Lyme Stone
  • Professor Mal Tose
  • Professor Mala Cology
  • Professor Matilda Meteorwright
  • Professor Meaty Orr
  • Professor Mike Robiome
  • Professor Mildred McMolecule
  • Professor Milo "Marshmallow Test" Grieve
  • Professor Minerva Magnifying-Glass
  • Professor Minnie Rall
  • Professor Minor Ursa
  • Professor Mo Larity

P, continued

  • Professor Mona Merr
  • Professor Morgan Ism
  • Professor Neo Dymium
  • Professor Octavia Oxbridge-Flask
  • Professor of Advanced Puddle Jumping
  • Professor of Interpretive Volcano Building
  • Professor of Recreational Magnet Collecting
  • Professor of Speculative Homework Science
  • Professor of Theoretical Snowball Ballistics
  • Professor Oh-No of the Annex
  • Professor Ottilie Orbitson
  • Professor Owl Tlier
  • Professor Oz Mium
  • Professor Paper Rocket
  • Professor Paul Enn

P, continued

  • Professor Pem Das
  • Professor Percy N. Tile
  • Professor Phil Crum
  • Professor Philippa Petridge
  • Professor Pico Farad
  • Professor Plus R. Minus
  • Professor Pluto Demoted
  • Professor Polly Tope
  • Professor Poof of the Smoke Room
  • Professor Posy Pendulux
  • Professor Probably of the Stats Hall
  • Professor Prudence Protonfield
  • Professor Prye Mate
  • Professor Pub Lish

P, continued

  • Professor Quinn Tumm
  • Professor Rand M. Chance
  • Professor Ray "Tripped the Breaker" Singh
  • Professor Reese Essive
  • Professor Reva Beration
  • Professor Rho Dium
  • Professor Rocky T. Launch
  • Professor Rufus Radish-Reactor
  • Professor Rusty Iron
  • Professor Safe T. First
  • Professor Sal Division
  • Professor Scribble of the Lost Notebook
  • Professor Selene Ium
  • Professor Skye Squall

P, continued

  • Professor Snip of the Scissor Drawer
  • Professor Sol Fate
  • Professor Spark of the Loose Socket
  • Professor Squeak of the Swivel Chair
  • Professor Stan "Left It Running" Bauer
  • Professor Tabitha Gogglesby
  • Professor Tangle of the Cable Closet
  • Professor Thor Axe
  • Professor Tom "Test It Twice" Achebe
  • Professor Trig O'Nometry
  • Professor Tubie Rhoot
  • Professor Tuff Rock
  • Professor Tweezers
  • Professor Ty Tration

P, continued

  • Professor Uh-Oh of Room 12B
  • Professor Von Beaker
  • Professor Walt "Small Kaboom" Decker
  • Professor Watt Sisname
  • Professor Wendell Wattsworth
  • Professor Winnie "Overflow" Tanaka
  • Professor Wolfgang Von Whiteboard
  • Professor Wyatt Intercept
  • Professor Wynn A. Nobel
  • Professor Xena Non
  • Professor Zeke Onium
  • Professor Zenobia Zapfield
  • Professor Zeo Lite
  • Professor Zinclair
  • Protector of the Last Clean Test Tube

Q: 1 name

  • Queen of the Quarks

R: 22 names

  • Reader in Applied Tickle Mechanics
  • Reader in Ice Cream Melting Rates
  • Regius Professor of Sandwich Geometry
  • Researcher Addie Dendum
  • Researcher Bea Tatesting
  • Researcher Dee Briefing
  • Researcher Dee Bunked
  • Researcher Dub L. Blind
  • Researcher Emma Pirical
  • Researcher Evie Dence
  • Researcher Fay Cultymeeting

R, continued

  • Researcher Justin Theory
  • Researcher Lita Review
  • Researcher Meta Nalysis
  • Researcher Obie Servation
  • Researcher Paige Proofs
  • Researcher Post R. Session
  • Researcher Rev Yewertoo
  • Researcher Sam Pling
  • Researcher Sim Posium
  • Researcher Sy Entific
  • Royal Astronomer of the Backyard

S: 24 names

  • Senior Fellow of the Institute for Advanced Napping
  • Senior Inspector of Wobbly Graphs
  • Senior Lecturer in Mud Pie Geology
  • Sergeant Safety Goggles
  • Sheriff of Science Fair County
  • Statistician Anne Ova
  • Statistician Barb Graph
  • Statistician Belle Curve
  • Statistician Box Plott
  • Statistician Dee Ta
  • Statistician Frieda Degrees
  • Statistician Kurt Osis

S, continued

  • Statistician Max Likelihood
  • Statistician May Dian
  • Statistician N. Equals Wunn
  • Statistician Otto Correlation
  • Statistician P. Value Low
  • Statistician Reggie Ression
  • Statistician Rhonda Mized
  • Statistician Sig Nificant
  • Statistician Skew Edd
  • Statistician Tee Test
  • Statistician Vera Ance
  • Supreme Analyst of Puddle Depth

T: 53 names

  • Technician Dial Turner
  • Technician Fuse Finder
  • Technician Knob Twister
  • Technician Patch Cable
  • Technician Plug Wiggler
  • Technician Reba Boot
  • Technician Sol Dering
  • Technician Volt Checker
  • Technician Wyre Nutt
  • The Amazing Dr. Fizz
  • The Astounding Professor Pop
  • The Balancing Professor Seesaw
  • The Bendy Dr. Rubber Band

T, continued

  • The Bouncing Dr. Bungee
  • The Brilliant Dr. Bright Idea
  • The Bubbling Dr. Brew
  • The Curious Dr. Question Mark
  • The Daring Dr. Dewdrop
  • The Dazzling Dr. Prism
  • The Fabulous Professor Froth
  • The Fantastic Dr. Foam
  • The Fearless Dr. Fulcrum
  • The Frosty Dr. Freeze Ray
  • The Glowing Dr. Glowstick
  • The Great Fizzini
  • The Incredible Dr. Bubblebeard

T, continued

  • The Jolly Professor Jiggle
  • The Legendary Professor Lava Lamp
  • The Marvelous Dr. Slimeworth
  • The Mighty Dr. Magma
  • The Peerless Dr. Peer Review
  • The Phenomenal Professor Fog
  • The Remarkable Professor Rainbow
  • The Roaring Dr. Dino Bones
  • The Sensational Dr. Sparkle
  • The Singing Dr. Tuning Fork
  • The Soaring Professor Updraft
  • The Spectacular Dr. Splendiferous
  • The Speedy Professor Sound Barrier

T, continued

  • The Spinning Dr. Gyro
  • The Squishy Dr. Squish
  • The Stupendous Dr. Stardust
  • The Thundering Dr. Thunderclap
  • The Tremendous Dr. Tremor
  • The Twinkling Professor Telescope
  • The Unstoppable Dr. Goo
  • The Whirling Professor Whirlpool
  • The Wonderful Wizard of Ohms
  • Third Assistant to the Second Assistant
  • Trainee Goggle Polisher
  • Trainee Lens Wiper
  • Trainee Sample Runner
  • Trainee Stopwatch Starter

U: 2 names

  • Uncle Uranium Glass
  • Understudy to the Deputy Beaker Holder

V: 5 names

  • Vice Provost of Crayon Spectroscopy
  • Visiting Lecturer in Advanced Kaboom
  • Volunteer Extra Hands
  • Volunteer Happy Tohelp
  • Volunteer Sign Upsheet

Z: 13 names

  • Zoologist Arthur Pod
  • Zoologist Carrie Pace
  • Zoologist Coco Oon
  • Zoologist Ethel Ology
  • Zoologist Finn Raye
  • Zoologist Gil Raker
  • Zoologist Lars Va
  • Zoologist Manny Tee
  • Zoologist Marcy Upial
  • Zoologist Meg A. Fauna
  • Zoologist Mike Ration
  • Zoologist Tara Pin
  • Zoologist Wally Roo