Porch Goose Name Generator

Names for your concrete porch goose and her wardrobe

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Name the concrete goose on your front porch: dignified old-fashioned names like Gertrude and Mildred, honk-and-gander puns, regal titles for a goose in a bonnet, and seasonal names to match every outfit you dress her in.

About porch goose names

A porch goose is the concrete lawn goose that has stood guard on Midwestern and Southern front steps since the 1980s, usually dressed in a rotating wardrobe of raincoats, bonnets, Santa suits and football jerseys. Owners talk about them like family members, and the name is part of the tradition. The classic choice is a dignified, slightly old-fashioned human name: Gertrude, Mildred, Winifred, Harold or Eugene, which fits a bird that looks like it is judging your lawn care. Puns come a close second, with Lucy Goosey, Sir Honksalot, Goosifer and Mother Goose leading the pack.

Because the goose is made of concrete and stands by the door, a second layer of names plays on that: Concretia, Pebbles, Porchia, Lady Patina, Duchess of the Driveway, Stoop Sally. Titles are popular too, since a goose in a hat reads as aristocracy, so you get Lady Featherington, Baroness Von Honk or Colonel Honkington. Seasonal names (Pumpkin Spice Penny, Jingle Gander, Raincoat Rita) are a fun option if you want the name to change with the outfit.

This list mixes all of those styles so you can find a name that suits your goose's posture, your porch and your sense of humor.

How to choose porch goose names

  • Match the name to the goose's face. Most concrete geese have a slightly stern, tilted expression, which is why old-lady and old-man names (Mildred, Walter, Agnes) land better than cutesy ones.
  • If you change outfits with the seasons, give her one permanent name and a rotating nickname: Gertrude year-round, but Jingle Gander in December and Raincoat Rita in April.
  • Put the name somewhere visible. A small tag on a ribbon, a tiny chalkboard sign or a name stitched on her apron turns a lawn ornament into a neighborhood character people ask about.
  • For a pair of geese (one large, one gosling), pick a matched set: Gertrude and Gussie Mae, Harold and Mildred, Lady Featherington and Little Honk.
  • Avoid names that sound like a family member or neighbor. The joke wears thin fast when Aunt Linda realizes the goose is also Linda.

Frequently asked questions

What is a porch goose?

A porch goose is a cast-concrete goose statue, usually 20 to 24 inches tall, that sits on a front porch or step and is dressed in seasonal outfits. The tradition took off in Ohio and the surrounding Midwest in the 1980s and spread across the South; you can now buy dozens of ready-made goose outfits for every holiday.

What are the most popular porch goose names?

Old-fashioned names dominate: Gertrude, Mildred, Agnes, Winifred, Harold and Eugene are everywhere. Puns like Lucy Goosey, Mother Goose, Sir Honksalot and Goosifer are next, followed by titled names like Lady Featherington or Duchess of the Driveway.

Should a porch goose have a girl or boy name?

Most owners default to female names because the bonnets and dresses are the most common outfits, but plenty of geese are ganders with names like Harold, Sir Reginald Plumage or Colonel Honkington. Since it is a statue, you can also pick a name that works either way, such as Pebbles, Birdie or Goosey.

What should I name a goose that wears different outfits each season?

Give her a permanent name and seasonal nicknames. For example, Gertrude becomes Pumpkin Spice Penny in October, Jingle Gander in December and Sunhat Sally in July. It keeps the tradition fun and gives you an excuse to update the little chalkboard sign by the door.

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All 500 porch goose names

This is the complete list the generator above draws its random batches from, sorted A to Z and grouped by first letter.

Plain text, one name per line.

A: 18 names

  • Abner
  • Adelaide
  • Admiral Beakman
  • Agatha
  • Aggie Aggregate
  • Agnes
  • Alfred
  • Alistair
  • Alma
  • Ambrose
  • Ambrosia
  • Amos
  • Annabelle
  • Archibald
  • Augusta
  • Aunt Goosie
  • Aunt Tilly
  • Auntie Apron

B: 21 names

  • Barnaby
  • Barnard
  • Barney
  • Baroness Birdbath
  • Baroness Von Honk
  • Bartholomew
  • Bartleby
  • Beatrice
  • Beatrix
  • Bernadette
  • Bernice
  • Bertram
  • Bessie
  • Bettina
  • Beulah
  • Beverly
  • Birdbath Bertha
  • Birdie
  • Bishop Beaknell
  • Blanche
  • Bonnet Betty

C: 29 names

  • Canada Goose Connie
  • Candy Corn Cora
  • Captain Concrete
  • Captain Gooseneck
  • Carolina
  • Cecil
  • Celeste
  • Cement Shoes Sal
  • Cementine
  • Chester
  • Cinder Bella
  • Clarabelle
  • Clarissa
  • Clementine
  • Cletus
  • Clifford
  • Cobblestone Carl
  • Colonel Honkington
  • Concretia
  • Concretta Vanderstoop
  • Constance
  • Cordelia
  • Cornelia
  • Cornelius
  • Cornell
  • Countess Gooseworth
  • Curbside Carol
  • Cyril
  • Cyrus

D: 24 names

  • Dahlia
  • Dame Doorstep
  • Dame Edna Eggerage
  • Dame Gertie
  • Dame Gooseley
  • Dame Honkington
  • Dame Porchwell
  • Daphne
  • Darlene
  • Deacon Downy
  • Delia
  • Delphine
  • Desmond
  • Dolly
  • Doorbell Dottie
  • Doormat Dolores
  • Doris
  • Dorothy
  • Duchess Doormat
  • Duchess Featherly
  • Duchess of the Driveway
  • Duchess Patina
  • Dudley
  • Duke of Doormat

E: 20 names

  • Easter Bonnie
  • Edgar
  • Edith
  • Edwina
  • Eleanor
  • Elf on the Stoop
  • Elmer
  • Elsie
  • Elspeth
  • Elvira
  • Enid
  • Ernestina
  • Ernestine
  • Estelle
  • Esther
  • Ethel
  • Ethel Eavesdrop
  • Eugene
  • Evangeline
  • Ezra

F: 15 names

  • Feather Locklear
  • Ferdinand
  • Fern
  • Ferris
  • First Mate Feathers
  • Fitzgerald
  • Flagstone Fanny
  • Flannel Fran
  • Florence
  • Florence Honkingale
  • Flossie
  • Flowerbed Flo
  • Frances
  • Franklin
  • Front Step Frieda

G: 71 names

  • Gandalf the Gander
  • Gander Abernathy
  • Gander Beaumont
  • Gander Cooper
  • Gander Fitzhonk
  • Gander Grimsby
  • Gander Holloway
  • Gander Lovejoy
  • Gander Mountain Mike
  • Gander Pendergast
  • Gander Prairie
  • Gander the Grey
  • Gander Thistlewood
  • Gander Von Stoop
  • Gander Wellington
  • Gandermere
  • George Beaknard Shaw
  • Georgina
  • Gerald
  • Geraldine
  • Gertie the Greeter
  • Gertrude
  • Gilda
  • Gladys
  • Gladys Gosling
  • Godfrey
  • Goosalind
  • Goosalot
  • Goose Almighty
  • Goose Cadillac
  • Goose Lightnin
  • Goose Springsteen
  • Goose Wayne
  • Gooseanne Barr
  • Gooseberry

G, continued

  • Gooselyn Monroe
  • Goosemary
  • Goosenberry
  • Goosenfeffer
  • Gooseph
  • Goosephine
  • Gooserella
  • Goosetavo
  • Goosetopher Columbus
  • Goosetrude
  • Goosevelt
  • Gooseworth
  • Goosey Bellweather
  • Goosey Dee
  • Goosey Goodwin
  • Goosey Lucille
  • Goosie Pie
  • Goosie Sue
  • Goosiekins
  • Goosifer
  • Goosilla
  • Gosling Gilmore
  • Gossamer
  • Grace Gosling
  • Grandma Honk
  • Granny Gosling
  • Gravel Gertie
  • Gravelina
  • Great-Aunt Hortensia
  • Greta
  • Greta Gander
  • Greylag Gloria
  • Gus the Bus
  • Gussie Mae
  • Gwendolyn
  • Gwendolyn Gander

H: 43 names

  • Harold
  • Harriet
  • Harriet Honkfeather
  • Harvey
  • Hattie
  • Hazel
  • Henrietta
  • Herbert
  • Hiram
  • HOA Helen
  • Honk Aaron
  • Honk Eastwood
  • Honk Harbinger
  • Honk Hartley
  • Honk Hemlock
  • Honk Holloway
  • Honk If You Love Geese
  • Honk Sinatra
  • Honk Tillman
  • Honk Williams
  • Honkabelle
  • Honkarina Ballerina
  • Honkerella
  • Honkers McGee
  • Honkette Annie
  • Honkie Dokey
  • Honkin' Hank
  • Honkin' Hattie
  • Honkleberry
  • Honkley
  • Honksbury
  • Honksie
  • Honkstable
  • Honksworth the Third
  • Honkules
  • Honkwell
  • Honky Tonk Tilly
  • Horace
  • Horatio
  • Hortense
  • Hose Reel Hilda
  • Humbert
  • Humphrey Honkbeak

I: 8 names

  • Ida
  • Ignatius
  • Imogen
  • Inez
  • Iona
  • Irma
  • Irving
  • Isadora

J: 6 names

  • Jasper
  • Jemima
  • Jingle Gander
  • Josephine
  • Judge Honkwright
  • Juniper

L: 47 names

  • Lady Beakwell
  • Lady Doorbell
  • Lady Featherington
  • Lady Featherstone
  • Lady Flagstone
  • Lady Gardengate
  • Lady Gooseworthy
  • Lady Gravelton
  • Lady Honksworth
  • Lady Lanternlight
  • Lady Lattice
  • Lady Lawnsworth
  • Lady Mortarby
  • Lady Patina
  • Lady Plumeworth
  • Lady Porchetta
  • Lady Porchlight
  • Lady Shingleworth
  • Lady Shutterwell
  • Lady Stoneworth
  • Lady Stoopington
  • Lady Weathervane
  • Lady Windchime
  • Lady Wingfield
  • Lady Wreathington
  • Lavinia
  • Leland
  • Lenore
  • Leopold
  • Lester
  • Leticia
  • Lighthouse Lorna
  • Limestone Lena
  • Lionel
  • Little Honk
  • Lois
  • Lord Featherby
  • Loretta
  • Lorraine
  • Lottie
  • Louisa
  • Lucille
  • Lucinda
  • Lucy Goosey
  • Lyle
  • Lyman
  • Lyndon

M: 48 names

  • Mabel
  • Madame Cement
  • Madame Gravelle
  • Madame Honkfeather
  • Madame Mothball
  • Madame Plume
  • Madame Waddle
  • Mailbox Marge
  • Maisie
  • Mama Goose
  • Marcella
  • Marguerite
  • Marian
  • Maribel
  • Marjorie
  • Marlene
  • Matilda
  • Maude
  • Maureen
  • Mavis
  • Maxine
  • Maynard
  • Mayor Gander Pratt
  • Mildred
  • Mildred Mortarstone
  • Minerva
  • Minnie
  • Miss Concreta
  • Miss Gooseanne
  • Miss Goosie Pearl
  • Miss Honkabee
  • Miss Manners McHonk
  • Miss Mid-Century
  • Miss Molasses
  • Miss Mortar
  • Miss Priscilla
  • Miss Wrenfield
  • Montgomery
  • Mortar McGoose
  • Mortimer
  • Mortimer Stoop
  • Mother Goose
  • Mrs. Featherbottom
  • Mrs. Gander-Goodwin
  • Mrs. Honkerton
  • Mrs. Mudroom
  • Mrs. Porchmaster
  • Myrtle

N: 9 names

  • Nana Gertie
  • Nana Neckwarmer
  • Neighborhood Watch Norma
  • Nell
  • Nellie
  • Neville
  • Nigel
  • Norbert
  • Nurse Nettie Neck

O: 9 names

  • Obadiah
  • Octavia
  • Odessa
  • Old Lady Longneck
  • Olive
  • Opal
  • Ophelia
  • Oswald
  • Otis

P: 26 names

  • Patio Pat
  • Pearl
  • Pebble Pearlman
  • Pebbles
  • Percival
  • Petunia
  • Pharaoh Honkhotep
  • Philippa
  • Philomena
  • Phineas
  • Phyllis
  • Pilgrim Pauline
  • Pippa
  • Plumebeard the Pirate
  • Porch Lord Percy
  • Porch Patrol Pete
  • Porchia
  • Porchland Pam
  • Porchlight Polly
  • Porchside Penelope
  • Postmaster Plume
  • Priscilla Plume
  • Professor Preen
  • Prudence
  • Prunella
  • Pumpkin Spice Penny

Q: 4 names

  • Quarry Quinn
  • Queen Honkatha
  • Queen of the Cul-de-Sac
  • Quincy

R: 16 names

  • Rain Slicker Ruth
  • Raincoat Rita
  • Ramona
  • Reginald
  • Reverend Honk
  • Rocky Plume
  • Roderick
  • Roland
  • Rosalind
  • Roscoe
  • Rosemary
  • Rowena
  • Rufus
  • Rupert
  • Rutherford
  • Ruthie

S: 43 names

  • Saint Gander
  • Santa Gertie
  • Screen Door Sue
  • Sebastian
  • Sergeant Stoop
  • Sheriff Honkins
  • Silas
  • Sir Cementius
  • Sir Cobbleton
  • Sir Doorknocker
  • Sir Elmsworth
  • Sir Feathers
  • Sir Frontporch
  • Sir Gander Gumption
  • Sir Gooseborne
  • Sir Gooseington
  • Sir Gooseph Banks
  • Sir Honkenstein
  • Sir Honksalot
  • Sir Pebbleton
  • Sir Plumesworth
  • Sir Rainwater
  • Sir Reginald Plumage
  • Sir Stoops-a-Lot
  • Sir Thistledown
  • Sir Waddlesworth
  • Sir Waddlington
  • Sir Wingsworth
  • Sister Gander
  • Slab Slattery
  • Snow Day Sadie
  • Snow Goose Selma
  • Spring Fling Flora
  • Sprinkler Sylvia
  • Stanley
  • Stoneface Stan
  • Stoop Duchess Sadie
  • Stoop Sally
  • Stoop Sentinel
  • Stoop Sitter Stella
  • Stoop Troop Sue
  • Sunhat Sally
  • Sylvester

T: 15 names

  • Tabitha
  • Tailgate Tammy
  • Tallulah
  • Thaddeus
  • The Gravel Gander
  • The Honkess
  • The Porch Dowager
  • The Porch Warden
  • The Welcome Goose
  • Thelma
  • Theodora
  • Thurston
  • Tilda
  • Tobias
  • Touchdown Trudy

U: 2 names

  • Ulysses
  • Ursula

V: 8 names

  • Velma
  • Veranda
  • Verna
  • Vernon
  • Viola
  • Virgil
  • Viscountess Vestibule
  • Vivian

W: 17 names

  • Waldo
  • Wallace
  • Walter
  • Wanda Welcome
  • Welcome Winnie
  • Wendell
  • Widow Waddleby
  • Wilbur
  • Wilfred
  • Wilhelmina
  • Willa
  • Wilma
  • Winifred
  • Winnie
  • Winona
  • Winston
  • Wreath Wrangler Wren

Z: 1 name

  • Zelda