Funny Pirate Ship Name Generator

Plank puns and mock-grand names for joke crews

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Generate funny pirate ship names for Sea of Thieves crews, D&D campaigns and party games. The list runs from pirate-speak and plank puns (Plank You Very Much, Kraken Me Up) to harmless vessels and mock-grand navy names such as The Leaky Bucket and HMS Arrr and Arrr.

About funny pirate ship names

Real pirate ships were named to frighten or to boast: Queen Anne's Revenge, Royal Fortune, Fancy. A funny pirate ship name works by breaking that promise. It either swaps the menace for a pun (Plank You Very Much, Kraken Me Up, Doubloon Trouble) or keeps the grand form and deflates what is inside it (HMS Unsinkable Probably, The Magnificent Dinghy, Queen Anne's Refund).

The list mixes nine kinds of joke, so most batches show several styles. There are pirate-speak puns on arrr, aye, ahoy and avast; plank, plunder, loot and doubloon wordplay; scurvy, citrus and hardtack jokes from the galley; parrots, ship's cats, gulls and krakens; ship types and parts (Sloop of the Day, Mizzen in Action); harmless vessels such as The Leaky Bucket and The Mildly Inconvenient; mock-grand navy names; tabletop and video game jokes like Roll for Swimming; and plain confessions such as Sorry About Your Dock.

The humor stays clean throughout, so a name suits a family game night, a school play or a stream. Puns land best when the table hears them, so say your pick out loud in a captain's voice before you commit. Games that let you name a ship usually cap the length, which makes the two and three word names the safest choices there.

How to choose funny pirate ship names

  • Say the name out loud in your best captain's voice. Puns like Frigate About It and Schooner or Later only land when they are heard.
  • Match the joke to the crew. A cautious party suits The Mildly Inconvenient or Please Don't Sink Us, while a loud one can carry HMS Whoopsie Daisy.
  • For a video game, look up the character limit and any word filter before you fall for a long name. Short picks such as Yo Ho No or Loot Camp fit almost anywhere.
  • In a tabletop campaign, let the name hint at how the crew got the ship: The Borrowed Without Asking and HMS Not Stolen write their own backstory.
  • If the name is going on a real boat, a team shirt or a business, search for it yourself first. Many ship puns are old favorites that other people use too.

Frequently asked questions

What makes a pirate ship name funny?

Most joke ship names break the pattern of a serious one. Real pirate ships carried names meant to impress, so a pun (Plank You Very Much), an unthreatening adjective (The Slightly Damp) or a grand title on a tiny boat (The Invincible Rowboat) gets the laugh by contrast.

Can I use these names in Sea of Thieves or a D&D campaign?

Yes. They are written for players' own ships, crews and campaigns, and none of them is presented as part of any game's setting. A video game may limit the length of a ship name or filter certain words, so keep a second choice ready.

Are these pirate ship names family friendly?

Yes. The list mixes wordplay on planks, plunder, parrots, scurvy and ship parts with deadpan vessel names and game jokes, and it has no rude puns. Names like Moby Duck, Aye Scream Sundae and The Rubber Duck work for a classroom, a birthday party or a stream.

How do I name a whole fleet of joke ships?

Choose one style and stay in it. A fleet of HMS Good Enough, HMS Questionable and HMS Refundable reads as one running joke, and so does a row of harmless vessels such as The Wet Sock, The Pool Noodle and The Floating Shed.

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All 500 funny pirate ship names

This is the complete list the generator above draws its random batches from, sorted A to Z and grouped by first letter.

Plain text, one name per line.

A: 33 names

  • A Few Doubloons More
  • Absolootly Not
  • Ahead of the Scurvy
  • Ahoy Meets World
  • Ahoy Polloi
  • Ahoy Story
  • Ahoy to the World
  • All That Glitters Is Ours
  • Already Sold Everything
  • Animal Krakens
  • Are We Sinking or Parking
  • Are You Going to Eat That
  • Arrr We There Yet
  • Arrr You Kidding Me
  • Arrr You Serious
  • Arrrguably Seaworthy
  • Arrrmed and Slightly Dangerous
  • Arrrs and Crafts
  • Arrrt Attack
  • Arrrtificial Intelligence
  • As Seen on a Wanted Poster
  • Atoll Order
  • Avast Conspiracy
  • Avast Improvement
  • Avast Overstatement
  • Aye Aye Eventually
  • Aye Beg Your Pardon
  • Aye Carry the Snacks
  • Aye Forgot the Map
  • Aye Scream Sundae
  • Aye Spy
  • Aye Think Not
  • Aye Told You So

B: 21 names

  • Baby on Board
  • Back by Teatime
  • Badly Parallel Parked
  • Bag of Holding Water
  • Bail Faster
  • Ballast from the Past
  • Barquing Up the Wrong Tree
  • Batten Down the Snacks
  • Bermuda Rectangle
  • Bilge and Ted's Excellent Adventure
  • Bilge Rat Race
  • Birds of a Feather Plunder Together
  • Black Spot Remover
  • Blunder and Plunder
  • Brig Bang Theory
  • Bring Your Parrot to Work Day
  • Brunch Raiders
  • Buccaneer and Far
  • Bucket Brigade
  • Buried Treasure Forgot Where
  • Business Up Front, Parley in the Back

C: 26 names

  • Can't Fathom It
  • Cannon Opener
  • Capstan Obvious
  • Captain's Log Flume
  • Caravel Latte
  • Carrrgo Shorts
  • Cash or Cutlass
  • Cat o' Nine Lives
  • Cat o' Nine Naps
  • Catch of the Yesterday
  • Chaotic Hungry
  • Chaotic Nautical
  • Charrrming Personality
  • Check Matey
  • Chicken Delivery Service
  • Chicken Noodle Sloop
  • Color Me Marooned
  • Compass Points to Lunch
  • Conqueror of the Canal
  • Cove Actually
  • Crabby Road
  • Critical Hit the Dock
  • Crow's Nest Egg
  • Customer Scurvy Desk
  • Cutlass Clown
  • Cutlass Dismissed

D: 15 names

  • Davy Jones' Locker Combination
  • Dead Men Tell Dad Jokes
  • Definitely Not Pirates
  • Dental Plank Included
  • Disadvantage on Everything
  • Do You Validate Parking
  • Doldrum Roll Please
  • Dolphinitely Lost
  • Doubloon Decker Bus
  • Doubloon or Nothing
  • Doubloon Parked
  • Doubloon Rainbow
  • Doubloon Trouble
  • Drawing a Plank
  • Dude, Where's My Carrack

E: 7 names

  • Eight Bells and Whistles
  • Either Oar
  • Emergency Bananas
  • Empress of the Estuary
  • Everybody Clam Down
  • Everything Musket Go
  • Eyepatch Notes

F: 14 names

  • Failed Perception Check
  • Fill in the Plank
  • First Mate, Second Thoughts
  • Five Star Barnacle Hotel
  • Flagship of a Fleet of One
  • Flintlock, Stock and Barrel
  • Floating Tax Haven
  • Flotsam and Then Some
  • Follow Me, I'm Lost Too
  • For Sail by Owner
  • Forgot to Raise Anchor
  • Friendly, Don't Shoot
  • Frigate About It
  • Frigate Me Not

G: 9 names

  • Gale Force Yawn
  • Galleon of Milk
  • Gelatinous Cruise
  • Global Pillage
  • Glub Glub Glub
  • Gold Rush Hour
  • Guitarrr Solo
  • Gullible's Travels
  • Gulls Just Wanna Have Fun

H: 31 names

  • Hardtack Attack
  • Health and Safety Violation
  • Her Majesty's Garden Shed
  • His Majesty's Leaky Rowboat
  • HMS Arrr and Arrr
  • HMS Biodegradable
  • HMS Definitely Ours
  • HMS Flammable
  • HMS Good Enough
  • HMS Indefatigable Until Lunch
  • HMS Insufferable
  • HMS Not Stolen
  • HMS Overpromising
  • HMS Pointy End Forward
  • HMS Questionable
  • HMS Refundable
  • HMS Tax Write-Off
  • HMS Technically Afloat
  • HMS Unpronounceable
  • HMS Unsinkable Probably
  • HMS Victory Lap
  • HMS Whoopsie Daisy
  • Hoard of Directors
  • Hoard of the Rings
  • Hogging the Limelight
  • Hold My Coconut
  • Honk If You Love Treasure
  • Hook, Line and Sunk
  • How's My Sailing
  • Hula Sloop
  • Humdinghy

I: 8 names

  • Ill-Gotten Grains
  • Innocent Until Proven Pirate
  • Isle Be Back
  • It Came Like That
  • It Takes a Pillage
  • It Takes Toucan to Tango
  • It's a Plunderful Life
  • It's the Hardtack Life

J: 3 names

  • Jolly Roger That
  • Just Fishing, Promise
  • Just Regular Sailors

K: 7 names

  • Ketch 22
  • Ketch Me If You Can
  • Knock Knock Who's Tharrr
  • Knot on My Watch
  • Kraken Jokes
  • Kraken Me Up
  • Kraken Under Pressure

L: 16 names

  • Land Ahoy Maybe
  • Landlubber's Regret
  • Legal Seagull
  • Let's Get Kraken
  • Lifeboat Sold Separately
  • Lime and Punishment
  • Loading Cannons, Please Wait
  • Lobster Mobster
  • Long Rest at Anchor
  • Loot 66
  • Loot and Found
  • Loot Beer Float
  • Loot Box Simulator
  • Loot Camp
  • Loot Scootin' Boogie
  • Lost Since Tuesday

M: 18 names

  • Macawroni and Cheese
  • Man o' Snore
  • Marooned with a View
  • Marque My Words
  • Mast Appeal
  • Mast Hysteria
  • Miles per Galleon
  • Missed the Blunderbus
  • Mizzen Impossible
  • Mizzen in Action
  • Moby Duck
  • Monkey Business Class
  • More Hole Than Hull
  • More Like Guidelines
  • Mostly Rope
  • Mutiny in This Economy
  • Mutiny on the Bouncy Castle
  • My Other Ship Is a Galleon

N: 12 names

  • Natural One at the Helm
  • Nerfed Cannons
  • Nervous Wreck
  • Nightmare on Helm Street
  • No Brig Deal
  • No Real Porpoise
  • No Treasure Aboard Honest
  • Nor'easter Bunny
  • Not All It's Kraken Up to Be
  • Not Our Fault
  • Not Very Savvy
  • Nothing to See Here

O: 8 names

  • Of Corsair We Can
  • On the Doubloon
  • One Plank Short
  • Oops, All Barnacles
  • Orange You Glad
  • Otter Chaos
  • Out of Planks Again
  • Overboard Meeting

P: 41 names

  • Pachelbel's Cannon
  • Parley Animal
  • Parrot Teacher Conference
  • Parrotdise Found
  • Parrotnormal Activity
  • Parrots of the Caribbean
  • Peanut Butter and Jellyfish
  • Pelican or Pelican't
  • Pieces of Ate
  • Pirates? Where?
  • Pizza Parley
  • Plank Space
  • Plank You Very Much
  • Plankety Plank
  • Planks for the Memories
  • Please Don't Sink Us
  • Plunder and Lightning
  • Plunder Construction
  • Plunder New Management
  • Plunder the Radar

P, continued

  • Plunder the Sea
  • Plunder the Weather
  • Plundercover Agent
  • Plunderstruck
  • Plunderwhelming
  • Plundery McPlunderface
  • Point Plank Range
  • Polly Ester
  • Polly Gone
  • Polly Wants a Galleon
  • Polly Wants a Lawyer
  • Pool Shark
  • Port Royal Pain
  • Porthole in One
  • Powder Monkey See, Powder Monkey Do
  • Prawn Broker
  • Press Any Quay
  • Pride of the Boat Ramp
  • Privateer Property
  • Probably a Mimic
  • Purrate Radio

Q: 3 names

  • Queen Anne's Mild Annoyance
  • Queen Anne's Refund
  • Quiver Me Timbers

R: 16 names

  • Rage Quit the Navy
  • Ransom Act of Kindness
  • Ransom Note
  • Ransom Number Generator
  • Red Flag Collection
  • Reef Encounter
  • Release the Kitten
  • Release the Quacken
  • Release the Snacks
  • Respawn at the Dock
  • Revenge Served Lukewarm
  • Risk It for a Biscuit
  • Roll for Seasickness
  • Roll for Swimming
  • Room Matey
  • Rudderly Ridiculous

S: 51 names

  • Sails Up, Hopes Down
  • Saving Throw Overboard
  • Scallywag the Dog
  • Schooner or Later
  • Scourge of the Koi Pond
  • Scourge of the Shallow End
  • Scurvy Not Included
  • Scurvy with a Smile
  • Sea Shanty Town
  • Seal of Disapproval
  • Security Planket
  • See No Weevil
  • Seeing Doubloon
  • Self Scurvy Checkout
  • Shark Infested Custard
  • Ship Name Goes Here
  • Shiver Me Slippers
  • Shiver Me Timbers It's Chilly
  • Shiver Me Whiskers
  • Shore Leave Me Alone
  • Simply Macawful
  • Simply Sub-Lime
  • Skull and Cross Stitch
  • Skull and Crossword
  • Sloop of the Day

S, continued

  • Sloop There It Is
  • Snakes on a Plank
  • Some Assembly Required
  • Soon May the Snack Man Come
  • Sorry About Your Dock
  • Sorry in Advance
  • Sovereign of the Shallows
  • Spanish Main Course
  • Splash Landing
  • Spyglass Half Empty
  • Square Loot
  • Squawk and Awe
  • Squawk the Plank
  • Squawk This Way
  • Squeeze the Day
  • Squid Pro Quo
  • Starfish Enterprise
  • Starrr of the Show
  • Still Floating Somehow
  • Still on the Tutorial
  • Stop, Hammock Time
  • Student Driver
  • Sunk in Session One
  • Swab Story
  • Swashbuckle My Shoe
  • Swashbuckle Up

T: 130 names

  • Tar and Optimism
  • Technically a Raft
  • Tempest in a Teapot
  • Ten Galleon Hat
  • That's the Bowsprit
  • The Adequate
  • The Afternoon Nap
  • The Albatross Meant Well
  • The Anxious Anchovy
  • The Apologetic Albatross
  • The Arrrgument
  • The Arrrmchair Admiral
  • The Arrrtful Dodger
  • The Awkward Silence
  • The Ayes Have It
  • The Back in Five Minutes
  • The Bard Is Steering
  • The Bashful Barnacle
  • The Bathtub Admiral
  • The Beige
  • The Better Than Nothing
  • The Black Pearl Onion
  • The Borrowed Without Asking
  • The Brig Easy
  • The Chip Thief
  • The Close Enough
  • The Closed for Lunch
  • The Codswallop
  • The Colander
  • The Comfortable Cardigan
  • The Confused Cuttlefish
  • The Cowardly Custard

T, continued

  • The Cut of Your Jib
  • The Cutty Snark
  • The Damp Squib
  • The Dice Made Us Do It
  • The Disapproving Glance
  • The DM Said No
  • The Early Bird Special
  • The Easily Daunted
  • The Fearless (Terms and Conditions Apply)
  • The Fixer Upper
  • The Floating Shed
  • The Flustered Flounder
  • The Friendly Reminder
  • The Golden Hindsight
  • The Grand Admiral's Rubber Dinghy
  • The Gravy Boat
  • The Grumpy Guppy
  • The Indecisive Eel
  • The Inflatable Flamingo
  • The Inside Sloop
  • The Invincible Rowboat
  • The Jetsam Setters
  • The Jolly Codger
  • The Land Down Plunder
  • The Leaky Bucket
  • The Lesser of Two Weevils
  • The Letter Arrr
  • The Long Plank Home
  • The Lootenant
  • The Lukewarm Reception
  • The Magnificent Dinghy
  • The Majestic Bathtub
  • The Map Was Upside Down

T, continued

  • The Middle Manager
  • The Midlife Crisis
  • The Mild Peril
  • The Mildly Inconvenient
  • The Minor Setback
  • The Mostly Harmless
  • The Nervous Haddock
  • The Nice Cup of Tea
  • The Not So Jolly Roger
  • The Nutkraken Suite
  • The Off-White Pearl
  • The Overdue Library Book
  • The Parrot Did It
  • The Parrot Trap
  • The Parrotchute
  • The Participation Trophy
  • The Passive Aggressive
  • The Perfectly Fine
  • The Pillage People
  • The Plank Slate
  • The Plunder Years
  • The Plunderdog
  • The Polite Request
  • The Pool Noodle
  • The Procrastinating Pelican
  • The Purrates of Penzance
  • The Reasonably Priced
  • The Relentless Napper
  • The Royal We
  • The Rubber Duck
  • The Scallywagon
  • The Scenic Loot

T, continued

  • The Schooner the Better
  • The Seagull Has Landed
  • The Secondhand Sloop
  • The Sensible Shoes
  • The Ship's Cat Is in Charge
  • The Slightly Damp
  • The Snack Pearl
  • The Soggy Sandwich
  • The Somewhat Seaworthy
  • The Splinter Factory
  • The Strongly Worded Letter
  • The Termite Buffet
  • The Terror of Tuesday Afternoons
  • The Third Place Ribbon
  • The Titanic Understatement
  • The Ulti-Matey
  • The Unpaid Intern
  • The Unsinkable Until Tuesday
  • The Unstoppable (Currently Stopped)
  • The Vague Threat
  • The Wet Sock
  • The Whatshername
  • The Woodworm Hotel
  • The Work in Progress
  • The Zest Is History
  • Thick as Two Short Planks
  • This Ship Is Octopied
  • This Vessel Makes Wide Turns
  • Tortuga Timeshare
  • Total Party Float
  • Totally Legitimate Merchants
  • Treasure Not Found
  • Turtle Recall

U: 3 names

  • Unexpected Item in the Bagging Area
  • Untitled Galleon
  • Up at the Kraken of Dawn

V: 1 name

  • Vitamin C Deficiency

W: 17 names

  • Wanted for Questioning
  • We Come in Peace
  • We Did It on Porpoise
  • We Have a Bard Aboard
  • We Just Want Directions
  • We Were Here First
  • Weevil Genius
  • Wet Planket
  • Whale Meet Again
  • What Could Go Wrong
  • When Life Gives You Limes
  • Which One Is Starboard
  • White Flag Enthusiast
  • Who Asked the Parrot
  • Who Dropped the Anchor
  • Who Put That Reef There
  • World's Okayest Pirates

X: 2 names

  • X Marks the Snack
  • X Marks the Spot, Roughly

Y: 7 names

  • Yarr Sale
  • Yawl Come Back Now
  • Ye Olde Getaway Vehicle
  • Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Milk
  • Yo Ho Hum
  • Yo Ho No
  • Yo Ho Yo-Yo

Z: 1 name

  • Zest in Show